Last night, while doing the washing up…

𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁: 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗲…

I used to say yes to everything.
New people. New ideas. New ways of doing things
I was curious, open, energised by the unknown. I thrived on challenge, experimentation and learning. It was how I built my early career and how I built businesses too.

But success made me sceptical. And I didn’t like who I was becoming.
I was less open.

I first noticed it at work. Someone suggested a new way to run a pitch.
I cut him off: “No. We’ve tried that before. Let’s stick to what works.”

Then I noticed it at home.
My partner suggested we go for drinks with some new people we’d just met.
I heard myself saying no and I caught it.

That same instinct to protect, to retreat, to stick with what I know.
It was a wake-up call.

That wasn’t who I wanted to be. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲?
I’ve always been a critical thinker and at times I can take this to an extreme and write off new ideas and people before I have a chance to really give them a chance.

So a few years back I started digging. Why had this shift happened?
Part of it was success and the pressure to protect what I’d built.
Part of it was business realities: reporting cycles, monthly targets, risk mitigation.
And part of it was habit, the slow drift from curiosity to caution.

So I made a conscious choice to reclaim curiosity.
To reconnect with the part of me that says yes: to new people, new ideas, and new possibilities.

My strengths (critical thinking, tenacity, drive, etc.) are assets when tempered with curiosity, empathy, and reflection.

It’s something I now work on with my coaching clients, too.
We look at where their scepticism comes from and where it’s costing them.
We explore the difference between healthy critical thinking and habitual defensiveness.
We unpack past experiences: the deals that went wrong, the trust that was broken — and how those still shape their thinking.
We surface the “inner boardroom” - the voices in their head that shut down ideas before they’ve had a chance to breathe.

And we test small experiments.
Saying yes to one idea they’d normally dismiss.
Inviting someone they usually tune out into the conversation.
Noticing what happens when they lead with curiosity, even when it feels risky.

We explore:
🔍 What are you protecting?
🔍 What’s the cost of staying safe?
🔍 What would it mean to experiment again?
🔍 What’s one belief you’ve held that’s due for re-testing?
🔍 Who or what might surprise you — if you gave them the chance?

Because the truth is, many leaders are stuck in reactive mode.
But curiosity is a muscle. It can be rebuilt.
And when it is, amazing things start to happen: for their teams, their relationships, and themselves.

👉 Want support navigating similar issues in your leadership journey? Let’s talk. Link in comments.