The power of being truly heard

I was reminded of it in two very different ways recently: during back-to-back consultations with two cancer specialists.

I’m still dealing with some side effects from cancer treatment, and I went to see two doctors about two different symptoms.
Both experienced. Both experts.
But their listening styles couldn’t have been more different.

The first doctor seemed rushed and distracted.
Within two minutes of me beginning to describe the symptoms that have been affecting my life for almost a year, he interrupted me.
“You need an operation,” he said bluntly.
I tried to explain I wanted to explore non-surgical options first, but he cut me off again.
There was no space to be heard, no real curiosity, no trust.

The second doctor? A completely different experience.
He welcomed me warmly, made eye contact, and asked how I was doing — not just physically, but as a human.
When I told him my cancer treatment had been successful, his face lit up.
He listened, fully and patiently, as I shared my symptoms and experience.
And then he asked a few targeted questions that made it clear he’d really heard me.

I left the first appointment feeling dismissed, defeated, and uncertain.
I left the second one feeling hopeful, empowered, and like I had a partner in solving the issue.

That’s the power of active listening.
And it’s not just relevant in healthcare. It’s essential in leadership.

Throughout my career, I’ve had to work intentionally on my own listening skills.
Early on, I was often focused on fixing, solving, and jumping to the next action.
But over time, and especially through my coaching work, I’ve seen the transformation that happens when leaders slow down and truly listen.

In coaching, active listening is the foundation.
It’s how I hear what’s really being said.  And what’s not.
It’s how I help clients reflect, gain clarity, and move forward.

We explore questions like:
🔍 What’s really going on here?
🔍 Where do you feel stuck? And what part of that might be about feeling unheard?
🔍 How are you listening to your team, and what might they not be saying?
🔍 What shifts when you listen with curiosity instead of judgment?

I also work with leaders to help them develop their own listening superpowers… not just as a coaching skill, but as a leadership strength.
Because when people feel heard, they open up.
They trust more.
They bring their best ideas.
They go further, together.

💬 Have you ever had an experience where being truly listened to changed everything? Or not being listed to?
I’d love to hear about it.

👉 Want to become a better listener?  And a more effective leader?
Let’s talk.