How I learned to sell, by not selling.

I was 18. Home for the summer.

Previously, I’d worked at the local bank as a teller. But I wanted a change.

So I answered a newspaper ad (remember those?) that promised double the pay. Turned out to be a door-to-door knife-selling job. Not exactly the glamorous summer I had in mind.

Still, I’d already told the bank no. I didn’t want to return with my tail between my legs. So I pressed ahead.

The company’s approach? Mine my family’s contacts. Push hard.

I rehearsed my patter. And strong-armed my mum into opening up her Rolodex.

I have a vivid memory of awkwardly pitching knives to her best friend. She was kind enough to buy an expensive set.

But I hated every second of it.

I didn’t believe in the product. And I felt like I was betraying people.

Then & there I made a promise:

I would never sell again.

And I didn’t.

But since then, the biggest most respected brands have bought work from me, I’ve signed up to multi-year 6 figure deals, boards agreed to my plans, I’ve built, bought and sold 8 figure agencies and if I’m lucky, sometimes Martin, my partner, agrees to my suggestions for our next holiday :-).  

How have I done it without selling?

It’s a shift from convincing to connecting. Here’s the quiet alchemy that's worked for me:

That knife experience taught me that genuine belief in what you offer, and in the person across the table, is what really matters. When you stop trying to sell and start really listening, you create space for something far more powerful: authentic connection.

The best "pitches" aren't monologues, but dialogues. I learned to invite clients into the solution-finding process, shaping ideas together.

Learning to say "no" to anything that doesn't align with my values or where my unique contribution makes a difference has been game-changing. It's about finding the right dance partners.

My career hasn't been a series of transactions, but a tapestry woven from deep, sustained relationships. It's the quiet consistency, the willingness to be a sounding board long before a contract is on the table, that builds a foundation strong enough for multi-year commitments.

And most of all I’ve always approached business with a simple idea:

Do what you believe in.

And for leaders, this really matters.

The temptation to chase revenue, especially in tough times, can lead to misalignment. Saying yes to the wrong work. Working with the wrong clients. Burning yourself out chasing deals you don’t believe in.

In my coaching work, I help founders reconnect with what they believe in and build propositions, brands and client relationships that reflect it.

So they don’t need to “sell.”