Coming off cancer opioids

For more t to manage the side effects of my cancer treatment: chemo, radiation, and countless hospital procedures.

Going on them wasn’t an easy decision and I was never fully comfortable relying on them. Fear of dependency and the spectre of the opioid crisis hovered in the back of my mind. But when the pain became debilitating, they made life bearable.

I tried a few times to stop, only to go back because of the pain. Each false start carried a creeping doubt: would I ever get there?

Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I tried again. I cleared my diary, warned my partner, and mentally prepared for withdrawal symptoms, more pain and more disappointment. The first few days were tough - a reminder of just how fragile the process can be.

And then… a sort of relief.

The pain is still there, but now it is usually just a shadow of what it was.

I didn’t feel triumph.  No victory lap. I’ve had so many setbacks that I know recovery is far from certain.   

But I have had a simple, yet profound lightness of being present in my own body again. I’ve made it to a milestone no matter how temporary.

And it has taught me some unexpected truths about myself and for other leaders:

Resilience isn’t about invincibility. And progress isn’t linear. Each attempt to stop came with setbacks, more pain, and doubt. True resilience shows up in facing challenges again and again. Leaders, like patients, benefit from a culture that allows experimentation and acknowledges false starts. It doesn’t punish them.

Humility is important. Overconfidence can be dangerous, whether in health or business.

Relief isn’t an endpoint; it’s a doorway to presence. Being free from the opioids didn’t feel like crossing a finish line but it has allowed me to inhabit my life more fully, notice my energy and be more present.  Leaders can make more considered, strategic, and inspiring decisions by stepping back and reconnecting with the present moment.

Even when you cross a milestone, what lies ahead remains uncertain, and that’s okay. Reaching this threshold brought some ease, but also the quiet recognition that life is never fully predictable. The best leaders, like the best patients, accept uncertainty, stay grounded, and continue moving forward with curiosity and care.

I’m sharing this because others may be experiencing something similar to what I have gone through and knowing you are not alone can be comforting and empowering.  

Milestones like this often feel bigger than we expect. Sometimes they mark an end or a threshold, but they always carry lessons. For me ending more than a year of opioids has helped me learn and grow just a little more.

💡 How do you recognise the milestones in your life and work, and what do they teach you?