Lonely at top?
I never expected that the higher up I got, the lonelier it would feel.
In my first gig as a CEO, I had a team around me, a board and shareholders above me, and clients in front of me.
But there were days I felt like I had no one beside me.
The decisions were big. The pressure was relentless:
– monthly financials to hit
– staff churn
– demanding clients
– operational hiccups
- long term growth
– etc, etc...
And underneath it all, there was always that inner voice whispering:
"𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨."
Eventually, I realised I needed an independent, smart and experienced person who could be a sounding board. Someone who’d navigated senior leadership themselves and could help me see things from a different lens.
That’s when I started working with a leadership coach.
It was a game-changer.
She didn’t tell me what to do. Instead, she asked questions that stopped me in my tracks:
– 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩at's behind that?
– 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦?
– 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧?
– 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵?
We created a space where I could drop the mask, talk honestly and sit with uncertainty. Just the act of saying things out loud — with someone who wasn’t a board member, employee, or client — lifted a huge weight.
It helped me become a more confident, self-aware leader.
I learned I didn’t have to pretend to have all the answers. In fact, I could build a team who often knew more than I ever could. And I could lead by asking better questions, not by having all the solutions.
Have you ever felt lonely as a leader? What helped you carry that weight?
Now, as an executive coach myself, I often meet senior leaders who carry that same isolation.
They’re talented, visionary and driven. But they often lack a safe space to think out loud. And they benefit from a smart and experienced partner to help navigate the hard questions.
One of the most powerful things leadership coaching with me offers is exactly that:
A space where you don’t have to know.
You just need the willingness to explore—with a partner who’s been there before and is on your side.
If leadership is feeling lonely for you, let’s talk.